Posted: 6/4/2007
Title: MARY PICKFORD, HARRY BECK, PRINCE ALBERT...

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     The EURO 2008 qualifier at The Parken Stadion in Copenhagen was abandoned by referee  Herbert Fandel  in the final minute after he had awarded a penalty kick to the visiting Swedes with the match tied at 3-3. Christian Poulsen had struck Marcus Rosenberg in the penalty area.A  Danish Rolligan, as their fans are known, raced on the field to attack the referee faster than Sepp Blatter rushed for the Buffet Table after the vote at the FIFA Congress last weekend. Yes, he was THAT FAST !!

  As you know they are not allowed to sell beer in cans in Denmark so every Dane carries a bottle opener. These can be lethal when poked in the eye, so you have to be careful.  Sweden will probably get a 3-0 win when the UEFA Disciplinary Committee meets, and The Parken limited to holding 'Heavy Metal' concerts for the forseable future.

      I used to admire the prose of Chief Football Correspondent Joe Lovejoy in the London 'Sunday Times' though his articles were often far too long, stretching to 2 pages, the second of which should have been devoted to full page advertisements for designer hand bags or property in the Algarve-the way The SundayTimes is being gentrified these days.  Anyway, Joe made an invited appearance twice this week on the popular Stephen Nolan late night show on B.B.C. Radio 5 Live.  WHAT A COMPLETE BORE!!  It was like the shock of Mary Pickford converting to the talkies with her poor voice. He wouldn't let callers or his host get a word in and wanted to dominate the show. He claimed that David Beckham should not have been recalled to the England squad and that he had seen EVERY England match and many Manchester United away matches that Becks had played in, and he was THE AUTHORITY. JUST THINK, how much had his Editors spent on first class travel, bottles of the best champagne to keep his colleagues listening to him in the bars of the world, and pity the poor sods that had to sit next to him on British Airways Upper Class seats.

     There is nothing wrong with Cockney lads brought up within the sound of Bow Bells and weaned on jellied eels having a job outside the market stalls, but a mass audience. DEFINITELY NOT!!

     There are strong rumours around Downing Street that Tony Blair, who is entitled to to a leaving office awards list, is going to make David Beckham a knight and wife Victoria,  Lady Victoria, even though he hasn't won anything for England except fame. Maybe if he wins the Alan I. Rothenburg MLS Cup for the LA Galaxy THEN he should get the Queen to tap the sword on both shoulders.I think Posh Spice would rather be known as Queen Victoria, and according to Tattoo Artist Daily and Body Jewelry Times, he might be referred to as Prince Albert, as the real Queen Victoria's German husband was 120 years ago.  There is a statue of the Prince, fully clothed, outside the Royal Albert Hall in London, so you can't actually see his 'prince albert'.  (Some of you might not understand this, so ask your teenage son or any U.C Berkeley (Bezerkley) graduate.

     Harry Beck?  Well. in 1933 he was paid 5 guineas, about $11.00 US, to design the famous London Underground map for London Transport. It's very easy to understand and read and the design has been copied as far afield as St. Petersburg, Sydney and New York City.  How about a similar map to show where all the money goes at F.I.F.A. and maybe a game, such as 'Snakes and Ladders'(well, maybe just snakes) or MONOPOLY?  Instead of the US version using Atlantic City or the U.K. version using the West End, FIFA MONOPOLY can use the Bahnhofstrasse in Zurich, Front Street in Hamilton, Bermuda, Fell Street in George Town, Grand Cayman, a P.O. box in Nassau, Grand Bahamas and the Souks of Dubai. The winner gets a couple of tickets to the next FIFA World Club Championship Final.The losers get a season ticket to all the matches.

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